The Tear That Hangs Inside My Soul Forever

Sunday, February 03, 2002:

Well, I got to drive around last night...I wish you were with me. What is it about you? Or maybe...What is it about me...that becomes so easily obsessed? I will get you-if it kills me, you will be mine.
Chelsea // 10:29 AM

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Saturday, February 02, 2002:

Well, I dreamed about you again last night. I don't think this is good for me. You are very aesthetically pleasing, but I know nothing of your soul. I don't know if you can comprehend my madness or if you would just write it off and call it lunacy. I don't know if your beatiful mouth can utter the words that can please my ears. I'm not sure if you can even understand my beauty the way I would like you to. I don't know if you could give up your drugs and your rap music to find some peace in the words of Jeff Buckley and the 12 Steps. I do know that I will wonder these things until I know what's in your heart. Until then...I love you.
Chelsea // 8:32 AM

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Friday, February 01, 2002:

How can I ever get you to love me
The way I want you to?
Every thought I have is of you
And your beautiful mouth
Speaking beautiful words
To this beautiful me
That you see
But you don't even know my name
You don't even know my face
You can't even begin to know
The way your lips
Tangle up my insides

Chelsea // 7:45 PM

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Wednesday, January 30, 2002:

Well, I am loved...or should I say the way I look is loved. It gets old, but I love it. I suppose that's something else to add to my kingdom of shallowdom.
Chelsea // 1:21 PM

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Tuesday, January 29, 2002:


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Chelsea // 2:33 PM
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What is it anyway that forces one into shallowdom? Is it a fear of not fitting in? Is it a natural progression from great depth? Maybe it's rehab. All I know is that there are few people who aren't swimming in this end of the pool, and I love all of them. I used to be one of them.
Chelsea // 2:29 PM

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Saturday, January 26, 2002:

Hmmm...Was awakened this morning by loudness...bastards. My dad is on a moral crusade at the moment involving a kitty and a broken leg, my mom is on the normal cleaning crusade, and I'm about to smoke a cigarette. I suppose everything's normal here. I wonder if Alex is thinking about me.
Chelsea // 5:47 AM

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Friday, January 25, 2002:

Can I just bullshit my way through this? How long can it last?
Chelsea // 2:02 PM

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Chelsea // 2:00 PM

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Has it been a happy day? I don't know. I'm not sure if those days are in my nature, but I do know that it has not been an overly sad day. I have overly-indulged myself once again in the typical teenage excesses. It's all good, though. I know who I am...even if no one else ever gets that priviledge.
Chelsea // 1:55 PM

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